---
name: frame-control
description: Use this when you feel needy, the other side tests you, or you are losing control of the talk.
---

# Frame Control

## The Big Idea

Who needs the deal less, controls the deal.

Needy people get squeezed. Calm people get paid.

You can't fake this. You build it by having other options.

## The Moves

1. **Answer once.**
   Explain one time, short and clear.
   They repeat the question? They're not confused. They're negotiating.
   Answer shorter the second time.

2. **Use silence.**
   State your price. Stop typing.
   The first person to talk again usually gives something up.

3. **Slow down when they speed up.**
   They say "today or forget it"? You get calmer.
   Two panicked people make bad deals.

4. **Use statements, not questions.**
   "Your listing has three reviews hurting you." gets replies.
   "Would you maybe be interested?" gets deleted.

5. **Let small points go.**
   Winning tiny arguments loses big deals.

6. **Leave nice.**
   "No stress either way. If it matters again, I'm easy to find."
   Doors you don't slam open again on their own.

## When It Backfires

- Acting calm while having zero other deals. It shows in your reply speed.
  Fix your pipeline first.
- Silence as punishment. People feel the difference between calm and sulking.

## One-Line Memory

Calm comes from options. Build options, then the tone is free.