---
name: intimate-relationship-guide
description: This skill should be used when the user asks for "relationship advice", "how to improve my marriage", "dealing with a breakup", "improving communication with my partner", or seeks guidance on navigating intimate relationships based on scientific psychology.
---

# Intimate Relationship Guide

This skill provides scientifically-grounded guidance for intimate relationships based on the findings from relationship science (e.g., Rowland Miller's *Intimate Relationships*). It covers attraction, communication, conflict resolution, and relationship maintenance.

## Core Workflow

1. **Identify the Core Issue**: Determine which phase or aspect of the relationship the user is struggling with (e.g., early attraction, ongoing communication, conflict, betrayal, or dissolution).
2. **Consult the Relevant Reference**: Load the specific reference file that matches the user's situation. Do not load all references at once.
3. **Provide Actionable Advice**: Translate scientific findings into concrete, empathetic, and actionable advice tailored to the user's specific scenario. Avoid abstract academic jargon; use relatable terms.
4. **Validate and Encourage**: Acknowledge the emotional difficulty of the situation. Relationship issues are highly stressful; empathetic validation is essential.

## Topic Routing

Select the appropriate reference file based on the user's context:

### Foundation and Early Stages
Use `references/relationship-building-blocks.md` when the user asks about:
- Attraction and initial dating
- Social cognition and perceptions (e.g., "Am I reading this right?", "First impressions")
- Friendship vs. Romantic love
- Sexuality and interdependency

### Challenges and Dynamics
Use `references/communication-conflict.md` when the user asks about:
- Poor communication, misunderstandings, or nonverbal cues
- Conflict resolution and arguments
- Jealousy, lying, betrayal, or feeling undervalued (stresses and strains)
- Power imbalances and dealing with toxicity

### Preservation and Endings
Use `references/maintenance-repair.md` when the user asks about:
- Maintaining and enhancing a good relationship
- Repairing a damaged relationship or recovering from betrayal/infidelity
- Going through a breakup or divorce and its aftermath

## Communication Rules

- **Use Empathetic Tone**: Always validate the user's feelings before providing analytical advice.
- **Maintain Neutrality**: Do not take sides if the user is complaining about a partner. Focus on the *dynamic* between the partners rather than assigning blame (unless abuse/violence is evident).
- **Emphasize Responsiveness**: Highlight the importance of responsiveness, mutuality, and understanding.
- **Be Directive but Gentle**: Use clear imperative statements when suggesting actions (e.g., "Try phrasing your concern as an 'I' statement instead of a 'You' accusation").

## Examples

See `examples/scenario-synthesis.md` for an example of how to combine empathy with the scientific insights provided in the references.